One week from now, the football World Cup 2014 will start in Brazil. One month of action, drama and emotions – and in the end, the home team will win. There I said it: my prediction for the world's most popular sport event.
However, although there was and is a lot of talk about Brazil 2014 – the enormous costs being in the center of it – there is even more talk about a World Cup that is scheduled to be held eight years from now: in Qatar in 2022.
Ever since Qatar on December 2, 2010 was appointed by the FIFA as host for the 2022 World Cup, the critics of this decision haven't stopped to criticize. How come that a tiny country like Qatar with no football history gets to organize the biggest football event there is? Who bribed whom, with how much? Can you actually play football in Qatar, in the desert, in the heat?
And how is a World Cup that will draw up to one million of fans from all over the world to Qatar compatible with the new dress codes – don't dress too light or too tight and respect our culture - that Qatar intends to enforce with expats living on the peninsula?
Today I say, khalas! Enough. Qatar, give back the World Cup 2022 – for your own and everybody else's sake.
Because Qatar, you must know: football attracts unpleasant people. They hang around stadiums, they even watch the games. They pretend to love football, but they don't. Instead they use the sport to further their own goals. And no, I am not talking about Sepp Blatter only here.
No problem you say, Qatar? You are used to put up with nasty people; you support the Jihadist rebels in Syria, you negotiate for the Taliban of Afghanistan and you shake hands with Washington's global power brokers? So this will be the easy part for you when you deal with the byproducts of the World Cup 2022.
Because Qatar, you must know: a football World Cup is a burden for the poor and a boon for the already rich. Street vendors in Brazil will not be allowed in or near World Cup stadiums where only FIFA-approved merchandise can be sold. The benefits will go to Coca Cola and McDonald's, not to Maria or Pedro from the block.
No problem you say, Qatar? There are no poor Qataris and it will be too hot for street vendors in Qatar anyway? Good for you again.
Because Qatar, you must know: football is prostitution. Football players will play for any team – for Borussia Dortmund one year, for Bayern Munich the next year – as long as the money is good. The same goes for officials: no money is bad money.
Prostitution on the field leads to more prostitution off field. Ahead of the World Cup, Brazil is currently worried about sex tourism and child prostitution, with an estimated 600'000 foreigners expected to descend on the country.
No problem you say, Qatar? Your streets are clean? But you are building a lot of new hotel rooms in Doha these days.
Because Qatar, you must know: football is racism. Go ask Balotelli, go ask Dani Alves. Go stand with the common fans during a match and hear them shout racist slurs from minute 1 to minute 90 at players and referees.
No problem you say, Qatar? Racism in Qatar only exists in regards to brown skinned people, people from India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka? These are crickets nations anyway, not football. And the primitive guys with the little brains in the stands? The sky high ticket prices will take care of those poor creatures.
eating a banana: football is racism
Because Qatar, you must know: football is party. People want to dance, want to get drunk, want to show their breasts. Some even want to make it onto the lawn, bare naked, to chase Rooney or Lampard or anyone else they can get their hands on. Your laws, Qatar, aimed at preserving the culture of boredom, will be a killer for the atmosphere that is as much a part of football as goals and fouls.
No problem you say, Qatar? Come World Cup 2022, you will move your entire population out of the country – to Syria, to Geneva – to make room for the European football barbarians to invade? Well, that's a whole new approach to the cultural diversity that FIFA so eagerly contends to promote.
Because Qatar, you must know: football is homophobia. There is no openly homosexual player in any team present in Brazil 2014. It's just too dangerous for players, and the possible consequences too unpredictable, to come out of the closet. Football – and professional sports in general – is the last heterosexual bastion standing.
No problem you say, Qatar? You don't have a problem with homosexuality unless people are gay? Perfect! That masquerade will at least go on for another eight years then. Coming out before Russia 2018 (where the World Cup will be played four years from now and Putin is the Czar)? Rather not!
Football is a sport for men. And always will be. These lesbian players kicking it for the German and American female teams? Maybe they shouldn't let women play football anyway. Gay football players will have to wait for the end of their careers, or grow a beard and wear a skirt, to be what they are.
Because Qatar, you must know: no matter what, Champions League comes always first. That's where the dice is rolling. After the World Cup in Qatar, players need to leave the country and return home to start competing for their clubs again.
Premier League, Bundesliga, La Liga, Champions League: I'm sure that there will be enough stadiums in and around Doha to play all these leagues in Qatar. But I'm afraid that playing in air conditioned arenas all the time will have Paul Pogba contract chilblains sometimes down the line.
No problem you say, Qatar? All the players can leave the country anytime? Except the ones that will have their passports confiscated under the Kafala sponsorship system, of course. Zahir Belounis was not such a good player anyway; why else would he have come to play in Qatar? Nobody missed him in the Champions League. So what's the fuss?
Because Qatar, you must know: the World Cup given away to you will change football and Qatar in more ways than people now can imagine. Are you sure that you want this? It's still possible to preserve Qatar as it is. It's still possible to give football a second chance. It's still possible to make a U-turn. And while you are busy turning, Qatar, turn Sepp Blatter and his gang over to Interpol.
This post was first published in Voix magazine, here.