Monday, August 13, 2012

Me?

That's some heavy accusation you make there. This one really hurts. That's an accusation I entirely reject.

Did I delude myself? I was always on your side. I thought I was. On sides you didn't even know. On sides I didn't tell you. You were a jewel in the muck.

Stop digging in the dirt. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Accept the complexity. Acknowledge your share. We are all guilty. You need to leave the past behind us. Truth. Reconciliation. When the stakes are high, good advice feels cheap.

Honor and justice. Too easy to say it's cultural. One has been robbed, one must be restored. Some try. Did we all fail? I will never clear the bar you set for me. Acts of love are but a shabby reparation. For you. 

Your suffering is a deep sea. You say I lack. Einfühlungsvermögen. You say I miss. Emotions. An ocean of suffering needs a boat to cross. Let's build. Together. Take a hammer and a nail. Don't crucify: you. me. us. Construct!

Lower the bar. Cut your expectations. Redemption looks differently, you say. Suffering? Double suffering! It is the only way. Never look back. It's an energy sucker. Your energy, not theirs.

I don't need forgiveness. I'm not religious. The law of nature has reared its ugly head. The dynamics of a system. They always win.

That's some heavy accusation you make there. This one really hurts. A mobbster? Me?




5 comments:

  1. A heavy dose of introspection. Wonderfully writ.

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  2. thanks everybody - Liss, Von, Charlie.

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  3. You wrote I was a jewel in the muck. Jewels are precious and breakble, so why not have treated them as such instead of throwing them in the pack? I would like to construct a boat to cross the river but I have neither wood nor hammer nor nails.....

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